Firman Generator

FOR SALE: Firman 9400W Tri-Fuel Generator - Perfect Condition - $800 THIS ISN'T A GENERATOR. IT'S A LIFESTYLE. Listen up. While you've been doing bicep curls and drinking protein shakes, I've been bench-pressing NINE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED WATTS of pure, unadulterated ELECTRICAL DOMINANCE. This tri-fuel beast doesn't just run on gasoline, propane, and natural gas. It runs on DETERMINATION, FREEDOM, and the TEARS OF WEAKER GENERATORS. What makes this a MUSCLE MACHINE? 🔥 9400 WATTS - That's not a number, that's a STATEMENT. That's more watts than your gym bro has brain cells. 🔥 TRI-FUEL - Gas? Check. Propane? Check. Natural gas? CHECK. This thing adapts like a Navy SEAL. Your Honda generator? That's a one-trick pony. THIS is a TRIPLE THREAT. 🔥 PERFECT CONDITION - Not "good." Not "great." PERFECT. Like a Greek statue, but it actually DOES something. What can this ABSOLUTE UNIT power? Your entire house while you flex in the mirror during a blackout Every power tool in your garage SIMULTANEOUSLY Your neighbor's house too, because you're GENEROUS like that A small gym (so you can keep lifting when the power goes out, BRO) Basically a small town if that town respects GAINS Why is it perfect? Because I maintain my equipment like I maintain my physique - WITH DEDICATION AND MOTOR Oil. This generator has been: Serviced regularly (unlike Gary's relationship) Stored properly (climate controlled garage, not some shed) Tested monthly (because REAL MEN test their equipment) Treated with the respect it DESERVES Why am I selling this TITAN? Upgrading to an even BIGGER unit. That's right. I'm going 12,000 watts. Because MORE POWER = MORE BETTER. It's science. $800 FIRM. That's $800 for PEACE OF MIND. $800 for POWER. $800 to be the HERO of your neighborhood when the lights go out. No lowballers. Don't ask if I'll take $600. That's insulting. That's like asking Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson if he'll do half a workout. NOT HAPPENING. SERIOUS BUYERS ONLY: Must have truck or trailer (if you show up in a Prius, we're fighting) Must have $800 CASH (or Venmo, I'm not a caveman) Must demonstrate proper lifting technique when loading (I don't need a lawsuit) Bonus points if you bring pre-workout and we can talk about POWER over protein shakes This generator has more torque than your attitude and more reliability than your ex. COME GET SOME. 💪⚡ First person with $800 and a pulse gets the POWER OF ZEUS himself. Text me. Don't call. I'm at the gym